Put your hand up if you've ever faked an orgasm because: 

a) He didn't know his way around your body.

b) You couldn't be bothered to explain it to him.

c) You felt like it was more important for him to come.

These are just some of the many reasons why we'd sometimes rather pretend, but what if we told you that this was harming your chances of deepening your connection with your partner, as well as doing him and other women a disfavor? Men deserve to know that orgasms don't always come as easily for us as they do for them and to learn how to reciprocate pleasure.

Okay, you can put your hand down now and read through these tips on how to talk to your partner about this.

1. First things first: you need to figure out what it is that you like on your own so that you can then communicate it to your partner. Spend some time getting to know your body and fantasies. 
2. Now that you’ve figured that out, you need to be able to communicate it. Picking the right time and approaching the topic in a way that is not accusatory but comes from a place of vulnerability will be key. Be honest about the fact that sex hasn’t been as pleasurable as it could be for you and don’t be afraid to ask for what you want.

It takes 237 muscles to fake an orgasm and only 15 to say, "It's called a clitoris and it's right here."

3. Ideally, your partner will be open to hearing you out, curious to discover what it is that you like, and willing to explore your pleasure with you. On the off chance that your partner experiences feelings of failure and tries to shift the blame, come armed with the following statistic: 75% of women require clitoral stimulation in order to orgasm. You’re not the exception; you’re the rule. Now that your partner is aware of that, you can start to experiment with various positions and tools to bring you to orgasm. 
4. Once you’re back in the bedroom, it’s important that you are clear about what you like and what you want, but saying it in a suggestive manner will help your partner feel more involved. You could try saying, “I’d really like us to try this new position/toy together.” 

75% of women require clitoral stimulation in order to orgasm. You’re not the exception; you’re the rule.

Remember

Orgasms are often glorified as the end goal of sexual intimacy, but that doesn’t have to be the case. In fact, you might find that, once you stop worrying about having an orgasm during sex, the whole experience becomes a whole lot more pleasurable for both you and your partner. 

More from

Your First Time

4 Ways the Virginity Myth Is Harming Us

Read now

Related

 

Body

Pleasure Principles: Get to Know Your Clitoris

Read more