Because of the lack of conversation and education around sex, many of us are left wondering what actually happens, or what and who goes where. Don’t worry; we’ve got you! 

We’ve rounded up a few positions to try the first time you engage in vaginal penetrative sex that will help you ease your way into it. 

POSITION: MISSIONARY

Yes, it’s traditional, but it’s definitely a great place to start. 

The Details: You lie on your back with your partner between your legs, so that your chests and stomachs are facing each other. Your partner can rest his weight on his elbows or hands. This is generally the easiest position. The penis goes into the vagina when your partner moves back and forth on top of you.

At first, you can bend your knees and curl your legs inwards. This will allow you to control the pace a little bit more by placing your legs around your partner and guiding him. 

Benefits: You are face to face, allowing for more kissing, more eye contact, deeper intimacy, and easier communication. It also allows for you to have full access and oversight of each other’s bodies.

Slight modification: You can rest your back at the edge of the bed with your legs hanging off. Your partner steps in between your legs and penetrates you while standing. Your pelvis is raised much higher with this move and penetration could feel a lot deeper. It can be a very relaxing position for you to lay back and watch your partner move. If needed, add a couple of pillows under your lower back to lift your pelvis higher.

POSITION: ON TOP 

If you’d rather be in control, versus having your partner on top, we recommend you try this. 

The Details:  Have your partner lay on his back and sit on top of him. Start by placing your knees on either side of his hips and sit on his penis. If you are feeling a little too exposed sitting upright, you can lean forwards and rest your hands or arms on the bed. Once in position, use your legs to push yourself up and down, back and forth, so that you’re riding his penis. If you need the extra support, place your hands on his shoulders or on the bed. 

Benefits: You get to control how deeply the penis goes inside your vagina and the angle in which it is positioned. It also allows you to control the speed and rhythm, at your own pace. Just like missionary, it allows for more intimacy and better communication. 

POSITION: THE SPOON 

This is a great first-time position, especially for those who are shy or nervous. 

The Details: You lay on your side and your partner lies behind you, entering you from behind. 

Benefits: It can feel extremely intimate to be cuddled in this position, as you feel held by your partner the entire time. It allows for interaction and easier access for your partner to touch many of your other important erogenous zones. 

POSITION: ON YOUR STOMACH 

The Details:  You lie on your stomach with one or two pillows under your pelvis while your partner lies on top of you, mimicking your position and entering you from behind. Your partner will be more in control of the rhythm. 

Benefits: This position is much slower and rhythmic, with circular motions rather than the usual faster, thrusting movements. It is good for beginners as it allows you to experience the sensation of sex without deep cervical penetration that can be uncomfortable for some women at the beginning.

Remember

If you can’t quite get into comfortable, pleasurable positions the first few times, don’t panic. Practice makes better, more enjoyable sex. As you get more comfortable, you can try variations and positions — there’s a whole world of pleasure for you to explore and find what feels best for you. Remember to always listen to your body and allow it to guide you through your experiences.

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