5 Common Reasons Why You Don’t Want to Have Sex Anymore


Ask almost any couple, and you'll find that one partner usually wants sex more often than the other – and it's not always the one you'd expect.

woman holding arm

Changes in sexual desire – leading to mismatched libidos – are one of the most common hurdles in relationships. It can lead to everything from frustration to deep feelings of resentment. The first step is to understand that there could be many reasons, ranging from psychological to biological and contextual, that can result in a person’s libido decreasing over time or even suddenly.

Here are some of the most common reasons why you or your partner may be experiencing lowered desire. 

1. Psychological Factors

Your feelings and thoughts play a big role in how much you desire sex. If you're feeling stressed, anxious, or down, it can make you less interested in getting intimate. Also, if you're not feeling good about yourself or you're dealing with unresolved problems in your relationship, these things can take a toll on your sex drive. Think of it like this: when your mind isn't in the right place, your body might not be either.

2. Contextual Factors

The environment and circumstances in which you live can also impact your libido. For example, if you're living in a place where it's hard to find some privacy or you've got a crazy busy schedule, it can make it tough to find time and energy for intimacy.

Life can get in the way sometimes, but there are ways to work around these challenges if you and your partner communicate and make an effort to prioritize your sex life, if that’s important for both of you.

3. Hormonal Changes

Hormones are like tiny messengers in your body, and they can have a big say in how much you want to have sex. If you’re going through menopause (which is a natural part of aging) or if you’ve just had a baby, your body goes through changes, like having less estrogen, which can cause a low libido. 

Men can also experience hormonal changes, such as a decrease in testosterone, which can result in a reduced sex drive. 

4. Medications

Sometimes, the medicines you take for other health issues can have undesired effects on your sex drive. Medications like antidepressants, birth control pills, and even pills for things like hair loss or high blood pressure can sometimes make you feel less interested in sex. If you think your medicine might be affecting your sex drive, it's a good idea to chat with your doctor about potential alternatives or dose adjustments.

5. Physical Health and Aging

Your body needs energy for everything it does, including having sex. If you're tired all the time because you're not getting enough sleep or you're just feeling run-down, it's normal to not feel up for sex. In addition, as we get older, our bodies change, and our desire for sex can change too.


It’s totally normal to experience changes in your sexual desire. The key is to recognize what’s causing it and find ways to address or manage those factors. Communication and seeking professional advice when needed can make a significant difference in navigating these challenges.

Was this useful?

Did you find the answer you were looking for? Is there something we missed? What did you think of this resource? We want to hear from you.

Something went wrong! Please try again.

Thank you for your feedback!

Your suggestion has been received.

Create an account
Navigate personalized content journeys, get exclusive access to our community, save resources, and more.

Get started