3 Steps to Start to Break Away from the Shame Around Female Pleasure

Female pleasure is about as taboo as a topic can get in the Arab world. 

Growing up, we are rarely taught about pleasure, about fantasies, and about the intricacies of the female orgasm. Today, some of us have never experienced an orgasm, and others are in relationships where the sole focus of sex is their partner's pleasure.

Most of us carry shame around our bodies, whether we're aware of it or not, and that can make discovering our body and sexuality feel uncomfortable. It won’t happen overnight but practicing small steps everyday can lead to great progress.

Exploring, understanding, and owning this part of ourselves will transform our relationship with our bodies and our partners.

Here are a few tips on how to start to break away from shame and reclaim your relationship with yourself and your body.

 Examine the shame.

 One of the most powerful ways to do this is through journaling. Ask and answer questions like: whose shame is this? Why do I feel the need to carry it? Does it align with my own beliefs and the way I want to live my life? You might discover that these feelings of shame and ideas around sex or being a woman are coming from outside of you. 

 Act with intention.

Get clear on what your own values are. You might find that they are different to the ones of your family or your friends. When you act out of a place of alignment, out of a place of conviction, you will cease to view your actions as shameful or regretful. 

 Get intimate with yourself.

 When breaking away from internalized shame, a lot of the work that needs to be done is also physical. You might find that it's difficult for you to touch yourself, to find pleasure alone, or to spend time naked, for instance. With patience and compassion, you can start to rebuild that relationship with yourself. 

Remember

You have a right to your body and to feeling good in it.

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